


he feels, he sees (he breathes)

by shanphoebe



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anarchist Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Betrayal, Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Horror, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Ghost Wilbur Soot, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Platonic Relationships, Reconciliation, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Technoblade & Phil Watson Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Protects TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanphoebe/pseuds/shanphoebe
Summary: Technoblade is tired of being treated as a weapon. He has been betrayed too many times.He feels like it's the end, he sees that it's the end. He breathes because it is the end.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Just a reminder:
> 
> There's a lot of NON-CANON events here! I'm not caught up to the current events and I know a few major things here and there.
> 
> Characters will sometimes act unlike their characters on the SMP but know, it does take place in the SMP itself.
> 
> I've taken a lot of freedom with this fic as I didn't even stop to confirm if it actually happened or not, this was a burst of random inspiration.
> 
> There's no ships in this fic! All relationships are platonic unless said otherwise and do tell me there are any typos. It helps.
> 
> I'll update the tags when it fits. Comments will motivate me more to write when I know how you feel about it! Kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Thanks, I hope you enjoy.

Technoblade does not regret a single thing.

They've defined his actions as inhumane. After war after war after war, he's already realized he's nothing but a weapon to them. Pig at best, monster at worst.

Technoblade grew tired, exhausted at the world's attitude towards him. He thinks of himself as a now retired anarchist. Fleeing away to a village he once found during his travels to serve as his retirement home, Technoblade has locked his axe and crossbow away under his home and has devoted himself to farming crops instead.

Surprisingly, a certain blond child still found him. He found the boy freezing to death in his basement and dragged him back upstairs near the fire to hopefully warm him up. Acting reluctant while pulling out the last of his preserved beef, he drops it into a boiling pot of soup and stirs. The soup cooks slowly over a small fire, ensuring soft meat and a creamy soup.

The boy had woken up just a few minutes ago, preferring to watch Technoblade stomp around and cook. When the piglin turns around holding the pot, he stumbles and glares. Technoblade had almost dropped the boiling soup onto himself.

Tommy scrambles up tiredly, sitting on a dining chair as if he didn't have anything to say to the pink-haired man. Technoblade just ignores his attitude, knowing he'd have a higher chance of getting answers out of the boy if he was full. 

Putting aside the now empty bowl, Tommy burps and pats his slightly bloated stomach. Technoblade picks up their dirty dishes and dumps them in a basin and goes back to the table, staring at the boy until he gives him an explanation.

Tommy breaks, sweating from the intense gaze. He tells of the current state of Manberg, how it has degraded into a wasteland after he blew it up. Tubbo had decreed to exile him to a far land with Dream watching over him without pause. Tommy had escaped after Dream had a momentary lapse in judgement and drank almost 3 bottles of hard liquor. The green menace had fallen asleep and had forgotten to lock Tommy's chain back on. Tommy quickly realized and made sure the green man was asleep and locked the chain around Dream instead.

The blond child looked stricken as he stuttered his way through his story. The pig asks how he found him and the blond answers that Ghostbur had known about his flee to this village and accidentally told him before the exile.

Technoblade looked aghast, the village was almost 200 kilometers away from Manberg and Tommy had told they'd headed the opposite direction of where they currently were when he was exiled. It would've taken him almost a week in his declining state and the child was probably pushing himself even further to avoid Dream.

He pushed the boy upstairs into his attic room and lit a lantern to warm and dimly light the room. Technoblade opened his drawers and pulled a thick red blanket out and placed it on the floor next to the bed. He assured the blond that he is safe and to wake the piglin if necessary.

The night passes slowly as Technoblade watches over Tommy's thin but breathing body. He looks after him and soothes the boy when he trembles and shakes or when he mumbles a bit too loudly. He does not show it but Technoblade is grateful for the return of Tommy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this is a potentially triggering chapter!
> 
> This chapter contains:  
> Suicidal thoughts, depressing thoughts, horror, the voices, Techno in pain, struggling to live, struggling to breathe, a pill, giving up, wanting to die.
> 
> I can't tag for the life of me, so read at your own risk!
> 
> (There's a note thingy at the bottom that I somehow did wrong but don't know how to fix it, just ignore)

He's a failure. He never seems to be enough. Time and time, he tries to prove his sincerity but it's never good enough. Was the vault filled to the brim with armor and resources to fight a thousand battles worth anything? Were the hundreds of withered heads he painstakingly collected to aid them inferior?

Cramped in the corner of his dark room he leans his forehead on the cold wall. A lone tear falls onto the carpet and he ignores it. Technoblade grasped at the cloth below him, itching to throw it away. Mockering laughs echo in his head, voices screaming for blood pound painfully. Agonizing pain wracks through his whole body and he covers his ears. 

He tries to stand and stumbles, falling to the ground. He clamps onto the wrinkled sheets of his bed as he clumsily strains himself to lay on his bed.

His vision is blurry and his chest is tight. He struggles to open his nightstand and unsteadily looks for a dull wooden case. Only seconds pass but it feels too long, his chest is unbearably full and water fills his eyes. He opens the case with urgency and grabs a round pill and swallows it dry.

A minute passes by in silence. A grueling minute as he tries to draw in air, his lungs feel small and his throat feels clogged. Deep breathes, he thinks. Deep breathes, remember! Breathe deep, inhale and exhale, easy. Do it!

The voices come back and lure him with the sweet promises of freedom. Come with us, they preen. Come and you will be free, from this pain, this suffering. Don't you want it?

He's tempted. So tempted. The faces of his nephews and friends flash before his eyes. He can't. He can't. I want to be free, his body screams. I want to end this pain! Go with them, it screams. End all of it!

He struggles as if something is wrapping around him, as if he is drowning. Gentle whispers try to lead him to their so-called liberation. Tendrils of dark energy caress his face and hold him close.

He's so close to the light. He wants to go.

Should he go? His body won't respond to him, it hangs lifelessly against his drenched skin. He can't. What's the use? They grin. Almost there, you're doing so good, they praise. However, his hand lifts on its own volition, going towards a foggy hand.

He gives up. What's the use? He thinks. He lets go of his struggle, letting himself be pulled towards it. Come on, do it.

A dark murky figure smirks. It cradles a slowly breathing body and opens its mouth wide enough to fit a whole human in one bite. This is going to be succulent, it thinks and chomps.

**Author's Note:**

> Tommy and Techno aren't related here. I've made Techno into a good friend of Phil's instead and they have a large gap in age. Techno is around 23 and Phil 35. Phil's probably going to appear later? He's still a bad dad 😂. Tommy's 16 currently, a wild child. These children are so traumatized.
> 
> I've made it so that Dream watches over Tommy like a hawk after discovering Tommy's secret bunker which was a week before Tommy actually escapes. Dream encountered some problems that made him want to drink then gets tricked by Tommy. You can fill it with anything.
> 
> Watch out for the betrayal tag as well, It's for the past AND future ;) 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts, constructive criticism is always welcome!


End file.
